A Jack Daniels Fishing Story

A Jack Daniels Fishing Story

I know this is an old story but it was new to me, and made me laugh...sent in by an old Southern gentlemen friend of mine, then again by my brother-in-law.

 Jack Daniel's Fishing Story

I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniel's and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.

A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth.

Life is good in the South.

-- Dr. Todd

UFO Prank

A Well-Planned Retirement

A Well-Planned Retirement

Outside England ’s Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for

150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years, its parking fees were

managed by a very pleasant attendant.....The fees for

 cars ($1.40),for buses (about $7).

Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a 

day of work,he just didn't show up; so the zoo 

management called the city council and asked it to send

 them another parking agent. The council did some 

research and replied that the parking lot was the zoo's 

own responsibility. The zoo advised the council that the 

attendant was a city employee.

The city council responded that the lot attendant had 

never been on the city payroll.

Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of 

Spain, or France, or Italy, is a man who'd apparently had

 a ticket booth installed completely on his own and then 

had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to

 collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about 

$560 per day -- for 25 years. Assuming 7 days a week, 

this amounts to just over $7 million dollars ......and no 

one even knows his name. 

The Secret

Rhonda Byrne  Creator of The Secret You are an electromagnetic being emitting a frequency. Only those things that are on the same frequency as the one you are emitting can come into your experience. Every single person, event, and circumstance in your day is telling you what frequency you are on. If your day is not going well, stop and deliberately change your frequency. If your day is going swimmingly, keep doing what you are doing. May the joy be with you, Rhonda Byrne The Secret... bringing joy to billions

Fibonacci numbers - The Fingerprint of God

Rhonda Burn - Negative Thoughts

The Secret 

You can't stop negative thoughts by wishing they would go away, pushing against them, or feeling bad about having neg
ative thoughts. Any focus on negative thoughts gives energy to them and increases them! Your mind has to be set on positive thoughts and good thoughts because then you're giving energy to that. It's just a matter of practice and determination so that if you find negative thoughts creeping into your mind, immediately turn your focus to positive and good thoughts. And deliberately think them until you feel better!


Rhonda Byrne

A minute read........

If you seek to cheat others, you end up cheating yourself!!,,,
Enjoy. Take time to watch the very last sentence!!

A minute read........
Read this story, and
Follow the recommendation at
The end...

As I was walking
Down life's highway 
Many years ago

I came upon a
Sign that read

Heavens Grocery Store..

When I got a
Little closer

The doors swung
Open wide

And when I came
To myself

I was standing
Inside..

I saw a host of
Angels.

They were 
Standing everywhere

One handed me a
Basket

And said 'My
Child shop with care..'

Everything a
Human needed
Was in that
Grocery store

And what you
Could not carry
You could come
Back for more

First I got some
Patience.

Love was in that
Same row.

Further down was
Understanding,
You need that
Everywhere you go..

I got a box or
Two of Wisdom 
And Faith a bag
Or two.

And Charity of
Course
I would need some
Of that too..

I couldn't miss
The Holy Ghost
It was all over
The place.

And then some
Strength
And Courage to 
Help me run this race.

My basket was
Getting full
But I remembered
I needed Grace,

And then I chose
Salvation for
Salvation was for
Free

I tried to get
Enough of that to do
For you and me..

Then I started to
The counter
To pay my grocery
Bill,

For I thought I
Had everything
To do the Masters
Will.

As I went up the
Aisle
I saw Prayer and
Put that in, 

For I knew when I
Stepped outside
I would run into
Sin.

Peace and Joy
Were plentiful,
The last things
On the shelf.

Song and Praise
Were hanging near
So I just helped
Myself. 

Then I said to
The angel

'Now how much do
I owe?'

He smiled and
Said

'Just take them
Everywhere you go.'

Again I asked
'Really now,

How much do I 
Owe?'

'My child' he
Said, 'God paid your bill
A long long time
Ago.'

This poem has
Been sent to you
With love and for 
Blessings.

It originated in
The  Netherlands
And has been
Around the world 9 times.

The blessing has now
Come to you and
You will receive
Showers of blessings in the mail

Within six days 
Of receiving this letter

Providing you
Sent it out to someone else.
Do not send money
As this message
Has no price. Do
Not keep this letter

But send it on to
Someone who

Needs blessings. 

Send 5 copies within 9
Minutes of

Reading this and see what
Happens !!!!!!!
Have A Great Day,

Android Vs iOS The Truth about Apple and Google's OS Part 1 of 5

Android Vs iOS The Truth about Apple and Google's OS Part 3 of 5

Android Vs iOS The Truth about Apple and Google's OS Part 2 of 5

Some of the best bird photos I've seen

TO PEE...OR NOT TO PEE?

TO PEE...OR NOT TO PEE? 
 I have a job. 

-I work, they pay me.

-I pay my taxes & the government

-Distributes my taxes as it sees fit.

-In order to get that paycheck, in my case,

-I am required to pass a random urine test 

 (with which I have no problem).

-What I do have a problem with is the distribution of  my taxes

-To people who don't have to pass a urine test. 

             

                      So, here is my question:

-Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check

-Because I have to pass one to earn it for them?

-Please understand, I have no problem with helping      people get back on their feet.

-I do, on the other hand, have a problem with  helping someone sitting on their BUTT----doing  drugs while I work..

-Can you imagine how much money each state would save

-If people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check? 

-I guess we could call the program"URINE OR YOU'RE OUT"!

-Pass this along if you agree or simply delete if you don't.

-Hope you all will pass it along, though.

-Something has to change in this country - AND SOON!

P.S. Just a thought, all politicians should have to pass a urine test too!....They should also have to pass an intelligence test, a common sense test and an understanding the constitution test, as well!!!      

Winds of Change.....

Proposed Congressional Reform Act of 2012:

Winds of Change.....

Warren Buffet is asking each addressee to forward

This email to a minimum of twenty people on their

Address list; in turn ask each of those to do likewise.

In three days, most people in The United States of America will have this message.

*Congressional Reform Act of 2012

1. No Tenure / No Pension.

A Congressman/woman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when they're out of office.

2. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security.

All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social Security system immediately. All future funds flow into

The Social Security system, and Congress participates with the American people. It may not be used for any other purpose.

3. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all Americans do.

4. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise.Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.

5. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in the same health care system as the American people.

6. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American people.

7. All contracts with past and present Congressmen/women are void effective 12/31/12. The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen/women.

Congressmen/women made all these contracts for themselves. Serving in

Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their

Term(S), then go home and back to work.

If each person contacts a minimum of twenty people then it will only take three days for most people (in the U.S. ) to receive

The message. Don't you think it's time?

THIS IS HOW YOU FIX CONGRESS!

If you agree with the above, pass it on. If not, just delete.

You are one of my 20+ - Please keep it going, and thanks.

Defective Parrot.

Defective Parrot.                                        A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.  It doesn't have any feet or legs.  The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?' The parrot says, 'I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.' 'Holy crap,' the guy replies.  'You actually understood and answered me. !' 'I got every word,' says the parrot.  'I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated bird' 'Oh yeah?' the guy asks.  'Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch, without any feet.?'  'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar, like a little hook.  You can't see it, because of my feathers.' 'Wow,' says the guy.  'You really can understand, and can speak English, can't you.?' 'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy.  I'm especially good at ornithology.  You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion.' The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag.  'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.' 'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don't have any feet.  You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer.!' The guy offers $20, and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by.  The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful.  The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes, 'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing.  'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife, and the Postman.' 'What are you talking about,?' asks the guy. 'When he delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door, in a sheer black nightie.' 'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously.  'THEN what happened?' 'Well, he came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot. 'NO!' he exclaims, 'and she let him.?' 'Yes.  Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees, and began to kiss her all over.' Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED.?' DUNNO?!? I got an erection, and fell off my perch.!'  If this doesn't make you laugh, you're having a really bad day.